"But if there is evidence that a sting is motivated by anti-gay animus, that may represent a more troubling issue."Īt trial, Sanders said, police would have to prove that actions such as foot tapping were known signals for soliciting sex. "Citizens have a right not to confront lewd activity in public places," said Steve Sanders, a lawyer and gay rights activist. Griffith said that officers involved in such stings tend to be young and that anecdotal posts on his site indicate the local arrest rates increase around the time of elections or when media attention focuses on the issue.īecause much of the signaling is itself benign behavior, some gay rights activists and lawyers have admonished police departments for arresting men who have done little more than tap their feet. They may be meeting in public locations, but they will be as discreet as possible," Griffith said.Ĭruising areas traditionally have been those parts of town "women and children are told to avoid," but through word of mouth, bathrooms at places like Wal-Mart or Home Depot can become cruising locales, he said. The vast majority have no interest in being seen. They will see each other and usually decide to go someplace else. "They will usually go to the stall at the far end of the strip of toilets. "Tapping of the foot is pretty standard for men who cruise in toilets," said Keith Griffith, owner of, a Web site on which visitors post locations popular with men looking for anonymous sex. In an effort to curb lewd acts in public - or as some gays argue, in an effort to persecute gay men - undercover police began sting operations in places known for sex soliciting and employed the same codes. Over time, people familiar with cruising told, gay men began using a codified system of signals to indicate to others that they were interested in sex. Public places like men's restrooms, in airports and train stations, truck stops, university libraries and parks, have long been places where gay and bisexual men, particularly those in the closet, congregate in order to meet for anonymous sex.
Craig told reporters today that he did nothing inappropriate and said his guilty plea was a mistake.
Those actions led to Craig's arrest by Detective Dave Karsnia and the senator's guilty plea to a disorderly conduct charge. It was never about you.Craig tapped his foot up and down and swiped his hand underneath the bathroom stall in which the undercover cop was sitting, according to the police report. Cantor observes that part of this involves realizing that when you're in a relationship with someone who is emotionally distant or not treating you the way you want to be treated, "that's not a problem that need to solve, that's information about that person.
Once you've recognized how the beliefs you formed during childhood impact your current relationships, you can replace them with new, healthier ones. It's a chance to feel sadness for your younger self, who didn't get what they needed." Healing from this, Cantor says, "involves anger, it involves grieving. Let yourself feel the pain of the negative relationship with your father and mourn what you didn't have in your life because of it. But through "a combination of education and awareness," you can learn to recognize how your relationship with your father impacted you and how you may be "reconfirming old beliefs" by reenacting childhood patterns in your current relationships. When children's needs aren't met, Cantor explains, they start to believe they aren't worthy of love, attention, affection, or whatever else they require-which reverberates into adulthood.